First, as much as I admire your honesty and Stoicism, I hope you don't mind that I am still going to hope for a positive outcome (i.e., remission) for you.💔
Next: In terms of the "self-help" industry, years of working in bookstores convinced me that many (if not most) of the authors are clearly engaged in a cynical and malicious grift.
That said, when I commute to work on the subway, I almost always read a novel...doing so, I can't help but grudgingly admire those who use that time to read books they believe will improve their lives. Misguided or not, they are doing that BEFORE spending 8 hours (or more) making other people rich.
I make no apologies for my reading tastes, but I have to admit that I am indulging in escapism, while others are "working" before they even get to their workplaces. I'm not so arrogant to think that my way is better than theirs.
This is really lovely, Helen - thank you for sharing! I also hate the modern conception of 'positive thinking' that doesn't acknowledge or embrace tragedy and pain. I'm a cheerful person by disposition, but I've also struggled with depression and anxiety at various times in my life, and I don't experience those things as at odds. They're both reasonable ways of viewing the world; the only lie is when people claim one perspective is more "virtuous" or "authentic" than the other.
I am a (professional) philosophers and I find my philosophers friends to be very emotionally insightful and uplifting, when I talk to them about my challenges. (This is totally contrary to a stereotype about philosophers!).
I do, however, think that most, or at least many, people have a hard time seeing their own situations clear and productively. And that's true of philosophers too. And that's why having good philosopher friends is helpful: so they can help you "do philosophy" about your own life, and with their's too.
I loved this, thank you. It’s making me wonder if part of the reason why thinking about philosophy as therapeutic is due to the fact that we so often conflate self help, therapy, and (toxic) positivity? So if one element in that list is unappealing, then they all are. But of course, as you are showing us here, so often the things that help us are not positive in any straightforward way, and therapy can be quite difficult.
I’ve been taking encouragement from Seneca’s wisdom too. I love this analogy (paraphrase):
“Night must follow day; winter must follow summer. It would be foolish to not prepare for the winter when you know it is coming. But you can still enjoy the summer while waiting for the snow.”
I just read a book of Senecas’s letters on dying. I wrote a short review of it here:
After the loss of my daughter I found help in Megan Devine book "It's OK that you're not OK". It's not philosophy but it's not postive thinking. Grievers have the right to be sad, nobody has to juge.
"Avatar the last airbender" was also of great help. My english is not good enough to read your book about philosophy in Avatar but I will read it one day!
Absolutely agree on philosophy as self-help and therapy. If it's not therapeutic, if it doesn't help its practitioners with their lives, then how can it really lay claim to the title of love of wisdom?
Lovely writing, Helen. Positive thinking really tries to suppress genuine problems that people must deal with under the garb of “manifestation”.
Have to ask though, how do we determine which philosophy shall be therapeutic or self-help ? Philosophical pessimism often is too ill fitted to help people live better. How can utilitarianism help one focus on oneself ? Why not write on this next ?
I've been working (slowly at the moment) on a philosophy based on Spinoza's ideas of interconnectedness and ethical egoism to outline what I deem to be a better way. This is not the way of self-sacrifice or of seeking the most efficient way to pursue goods, but a radical self-realization in community with others. I wrote this essay about this idea (in connection to the climate crisis) but I'm still developing it: https://aeon.co/essays/how-to-face-the-climate-crisis-with-spinoza-and-self-knowledge
Thank you, Helen. I have always thought the type of positive thinking you describe to be sickening, metaphorically and sometimes literally. Unfortunately, many people adopt it as their 'philosophy of life.' It's beautifully satirised by Tom Lehrer: 'He loved the deep philosophers, like Norman Vincent Peale.'
First, as much as I admire your honesty and Stoicism, I hope you don't mind that I am still going to hope for a positive outcome (i.e., remission) for you.💔
Next: In terms of the "self-help" industry, years of working in bookstores convinced me that many (if not most) of the authors are clearly engaged in a cynical and malicious grift.
That said, when I commute to work on the subway, I almost always read a novel...doing so, I can't help but grudgingly admire those who use that time to read books they believe will improve their lives. Misguided or not, they are doing that BEFORE spending 8 hours (or more) making other people rich.
I make no apologies for my reading tastes, but I have to admit that I am indulging in escapism, while others are "working" before they even get to their workplaces. I'm not so arrogant to think that my way is better than theirs.
This is really lovely, Helen - thank you for sharing! I also hate the modern conception of 'positive thinking' that doesn't acknowledge or embrace tragedy and pain. I'm a cheerful person by disposition, but I've also struggled with depression and anxiety at various times in my life, and I don't experience those things as at odds. They're both reasonable ways of viewing the world; the only lie is when people claim one perspective is more "virtuous" or "authentic" than the other.
I am a (professional) philosophers and I find my philosophers friends to be very emotionally insightful and uplifting, when I talk to them about my challenges. (This is totally contrary to a stereotype about philosophers!).
I do, however, think that most, or at least many, people have a hard time seeing their own situations clear and productively. And that's true of philosophers too. And that's why having good philosopher friends is helpful: so they can help you "do philosophy" about your own life, and with their's too.
I loved this, thank you. It’s making me wonder if part of the reason why thinking about philosophy as therapeutic is due to the fact that we so often conflate self help, therapy, and (toxic) positivity? So if one element in that list is unappealing, then they all are. But of course, as you are showing us here, so often the things that help us are not positive in any straightforward way, and therapy can be quite difficult.
I’ve been taking encouragement from Seneca’s wisdom too. I love this analogy (paraphrase):
“Night must follow day; winter must follow summer. It would be foolish to not prepare for the winter when you know it is coming. But you can still enjoy the summer while waiting for the snow.”
I just read a book of Senecas’s letters on dying. I wrote a short review of it here:
https://raggedclown.substack.com/publish/posts/detail/142891357
I can’t see the post but will find it on your profile
After the loss of my daughter I found help in Megan Devine book "It's OK that you're not OK". It's not philosophy but it's not postive thinking. Grievers have the right to be sad, nobody has to juge.
"Avatar the last airbender" was also of great help. My english is not good enough to read your book about philosophy in Avatar but I will read it one day!
Absolutely agree on philosophy as self-help and therapy. If it's not therapeutic, if it doesn't help its practitioners with their lives, then how can it really lay claim to the title of love of wisdom?
I have the same philosophy.
"...Most things may never happen: this one will,
And realisation of it rages out
In furnace-fear when we are caught without
People or drink. Courage is no good:
It means not scaring others. Being brave
Lets no one off the grave.
Death is no different whined at than withstood..."
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48422/aubade-56d229a6e2f07
Lovely writing, Helen. Positive thinking really tries to suppress genuine problems that people must deal with under the garb of “manifestation”.
Have to ask though, how do we determine which philosophy shall be therapeutic or self-help ? Philosophical pessimism often is too ill fitted to help people live better. How can utilitarianism help one focus on oneself ? Why not write on this next ?
I've been working (slowly at the moment) on a philosophy based on Spinoza's ideas of interconnectedness and ethical egoism to outline what I deem to be a better way. This is not the way of self-sacrifice or of seeking the most efficient way to pursue goods, but a radical self-realization in community with others. I wrote this essay about this idea (in connection to the climate crisis) but I'm still developing it: https://aeon.co/essays/how-to-face-the-climate-crisis-with-spinoza-and-self-knowledge
On the topic of positivity: https://xkcd.com/828/
I salute your bravery, Helen De Cruz.
Thank you, Helen. I have always thought the type of positive thinking you describe to be sickening, metaphorically and sometimes literally. Unfortunately, many people adopt it as their 'philosophy of life.' It's beautifully satirised by Tom Lehrer: 'He loved the deep philosophers, like Norman Vincent Peale.'