In intense suffering, some people (at least sometimes) feel closer to God. Why? Either it's an elaborate coping mechanism and then, why not? You've got to do what you've got to do to get through horrendous experiences. Or, it really is something different—an experience of the divine—god, gods, whatever we may call it.
Thank you for writing about this, I know it's hard to put it out there especially when you're not sure how to interpret it for yourself. I hope you don't diminish it when you look back on it (and I'm glad things are looking tentatively not-too-awful at the moment. I sincerely hope that continues.)
I had a similar experience when I was very ill as a teenager. I had to walk home in the middle of the night, it was a twelve-mile walk, I was anorexic and very unwell. My experience involved Death manifesting in the field next to me and walking alongside me. My conversation with Death was very similar to your conversation with the voice you heard. Death told me I wasn't going to go any time soon, but that I would spend my life walking very closely alongside, being repeatedly touched by, Death.
These are the kinds of experiences that necessarily change a person, I think, although like you I enjoy holding opposing views in mind as both potentially true. Regardless of its aetiology I'm glad you had this experience because it sounds like it brought some warmth and comfort, and that sort of thing is very necessary in times like the one you're going through. <3
Thank you, Helen, for this brave post. I have a more or less constant inner monologue, but occasionally I have heard that voice. In my case it's not an auditory experience; it's just that the inner monologue sometimes seems to change into a dialogue. As Tom Morris said, Trust it.
What do you make of the Patriachs, like Abraham, who might have experienced similarly, be rewarded, and continued seeking the voice? Do you consider it dangerous, or at best only for consolation? Except deliberately unverifiable, one can generate empirically testable hypothesis about the voice - so long you don’t get manipulative per, I gather, your previous Christian teachings would have you. What blessing it is that you’re healed is certainly your personally choice (though with an objective criterion, I suppose), but if you encountered something similar in the future, the incident would not have simply been recorded here and forgotten. Certainly, your subjective chance would have been perhaps too high if you assigned 50% chance on another miracle. Thank you for sharing your decision over faith with us, but, kind - if not imposing - as I wish to be, isn’t this when Jesus is telling you: not just yet?
Thank you for sharing that. I am very sorry to hear about your cancer. I think this is an important experience to share and I think it is the opposite of jumping the shark.
I have had experience that is different but related. It was not through a mystical experience of the sort you describe, but my wife's first cancer diagnosis and treatment was what led me to realize I am a Buddhist:
Please find an introduction to a remarkable book which will stretch your understanding of the human body-mind-complex http://www.conductivityhealing.com
Plus a schema which includes the totality of the human body-mind-complex
Thank you for writing about this, I know it's hard to put it out there especially when you're not sure how to interpret it for yourself. I hope you don't diminish it when you look back on it (and I'm glad things are looking tentatively not-too-awful at the moment. I sincerely hope that continues.)
I had a similar experience when I was very ill as a teenager. I had to walk home in the middle of the night, it was a twelve-mile walk, I was anorexic and very unwell. My experience involved Death manifesting in the field next to me and walking alongside me. My conversation with Death was very similar to your conversation with the voice you heard. Death told me I wasn't going to go any time soon, but that I would spend my life walking very closely alongside, being repeatedly touched by, Death.
These are the kinds of experiences that necessarily change a person, I think, although like you I enjoy holding opposing views in mind as both potentially true. Regardless of its aetiology I'm glad you had this experience because it sounds like it brought some warmth and comfort, and that sort of thing is very necessary in times like the one you're going through. <3
Thank you, Helen, for this brave post. I have a more or less constant inner monologue, but occasionally I have heard that voice. In my case it's not an auditory experience; it's just that the inner monologue sometimes seems to change into a dialogue. As Tom Morris said, Trust it.
What do you make of the Patriachs, like Abraham, who might have experienced similarly, be rewarded, and continued seeking the voice? Do you consider it dangerous, or at best only for consolation? Except deliberately unverifiable, one can generate empirically testable hypothesis about the voice - so long you don’t get manipulative per, I gather, your previous Christian teachings would have you. What blessing it is that you’re healed is certainly your personally choice (though with an objective criterion, I suppose), but if you encountered something similar in the future, the incident would not have simply been recorded here and forgotten. Certainly, your subjective chance would have been perhaps too high if you assigned 50% chance on another miracle. Thank you for sharing your decision over faith with us, but, kind - if not imposing - as I wish to be, isn’t this when Jesus is telling you: not just yet?
You of all people can trust the voice. I’ve heard it. It’s trustworthy.
Thank you for sharing that. I am very sorry to hear about your cancer. I think this is an important experience to share and I think it is the opposite of jumping the shark.
I have had experience that is different but related. It was not through a mystical experience of the sort you describe, but my wife's first cancer diagnosis and treatment was what led me to realize I am a Buddhist:
https://loveofallwisdom.com/blog/2015/05/i-am-a-buddhist/
https://loveofallwisdom.com/blog/2020/06/why-i-am-a-buddhist/
Thank you for this piece, Helen!
Please find an introduction to a remarkable book which will stretch your understanding of the human body-mind-complex http://www.conductivityhealing.com
Plus a schema which includes the totality of the human body-mind-complex
http://www.integralworld.net/reynolds6.html
Religion & scientism
http://www.adidam.org/teaching/gnosticon/religion-scientism